Why children in care face disruption
Can you imagine what it must feel like to be a young person moving into a home with people you don’t yet know? You would likely feel very alone in the world, and unsure of what the future will hold. Every child in foster care faces this confusing, scary time before they get to know their foster family and really feel at home. That’s why it’s so important that we build safe and nurturing spaces for foster children.
Children in foster care have experienced lots of disruption in their young lives, with many children moving between multiple homes while in foster care. This can have a damaging impact on a child’s sense of safety and their ability to trust adults. Because of this, we should make every effort as foster parents and practitioners to minimise disruption for children. Let’s explore 8 ways in which you can help your young person to settle and feel safe during this time.
- It all starts with careful matching
Before a child even comes to live with you, you should already be thinking about how you can help to minimise disruption in their lives by paying close attention to the child’s referral to ensure that a match with them would be a good fit for everyone involved.
Matching can be an emotional process, and it can be hard to say no when you know that a child is in need of a loving home. However, if you believe that you and your family would struggle to meet all of a child’s needs, there is a risk of disruption further down the line, which can be painful for everyone involved, most of all the child or young person.
Remember, you’ll have the support of our in-house referrals team who will get to know your family on a personal level, as well as your Supervising Social Worker, who will help to ensure that a match is a great fit for the child and your family
- Give a child a warm welcome
When a child first moves into your home, they’ll likely be feeling nervous. They may be exhausted from a long journey, or upset about their new change in circumstances. As such, it’s so important to greet a child with a warm welcome on your first day together. Give them a tour of your home, make friendly introductions to your family members and pets and make sure that your family book is available for them.
We recommend having some snacks on hand for when they arrive and stocking your freezer with child-friendly foods which they can choose from— you could even order their favourite takeaway for dinner to help them feel welcome! Enjoy some chill time with a relaxing activity like drawing, or follow the child’s lead by allowing them to spend time alone in their room if they want to.
Ask them about their likes and dislikes and ensure they have all the essentials they’ll need, such as new pyjamas, toiletries and sanitary products. Most of all, be sure to be warm and friendly— a welcoming smile can make all the difference to a child who is unsure about their new surroundings.
- Establish clear routines
One of the best ways to avoid disruption in a foster home is by establishing clear routines for the children in your care. This doesn’t mean setting out a long list of confusing house rules; it’s about setting boundaries around what is and isn’t acceptable within the home, and setting in place some reliable routines to give the child a sense of stability and safety.
It can take some time to find a rhythm which works right for your family’s needs, so be flexible in your approach. Talk with your foster child about bedtimes and curfews, and negotiate where appropriate. Set up clear routines around school and extra-curricular activities. Utilising items like chalkboard menus to write out what the family will be enjoying for dinner, as well as what time dinner will be served, can also be a great help to children who have experienced insecurity around food.
- Utilise ongoing training
As a Clifford House foster parent you’ll have access to a range of training opportunities, which you can take part in both in person at our Bromsgrove office or online. There you’ll learn all about therapeutic parenting, behaviour management strategies and how trauma effects children through psychological theories such as Bowlby’s attachment theory.
Our e-learning platform covers a huge range of topics which you can complete training courses in, picking and choosing which courses best suit your interests and the needs of the children in your care. You’ll also have the opportunity to learn from other experienced foster parents at our regular support groups and family events.
- Listen to your foster child
Having a sense of choice and control can be so important when children are going through a huge change like coming to live with a new foster family. Give your young person options, learn their likes and dislikes, and use active listening skills to show them that you value their opinions and their voice will be valued and respected in your home. Your careful attention will help build up their sense of safety and self-esteem.
Listening to your foster child’s wants and needs will also be a great help to ensure you’re able to support their cultural and religious needs. This could be as simple as learning some new recipes together, or may mean ensuring that they’re able to attend religious services. Our training on Cultural Awareness can be especially beneficial for families who are caring for children who share a different ethnic or cultural background to their own, to help minimise disruption in a child’s life.
- Utilise your foster child’s support network
Cross team working is a crucial element of being a foster parent, and you’ll need great communication skills to ensure that everyone is kept in the loop and you’re able to advocate for your child’s needs. There’s so much support available which you can utilize, including the support of your Supervising Social Worker,and your child’s Local Authority social worker.
You’ll also have the support of our small and friendly staff team, along with the help and advice of other experienced foster parents who you’ll meet through training and regular social events.
- Work closely with your child’s school
Another key pillar of support for you and your foster child will be the staff at their school. Whether your foster child is able to stay at their current school or is facing the challenge of moving to a new school, it’s important that you attend meetings and get to know key figures. These can include your child’s form teacher, school counsellor, head teacher and the school’s Special Educational Needs Coordinator (SENCO).
Many looked after children will have a specialised Education, Health and Care Plan (EHC) to ensure they get all the support they need to thrive while in school. If you believe a child in your care would benefit from a tailored EHC plan, talk with your child’s SENCO and your Supervising Social Worker who can help you to apply through your Local Authority.
- Prioritise family time
If the child in your care has a plan in place for spending time with their birth family, it’s vital as their foster parent that you are on hand to support this. Reunification is the best possible outcome in many short-term fostering arrangements, and we want to keep families together wherever it is safe to do so. Regular contact with parents and siblings helps to maintain strong family attachments and reassures children that their family are safe and well.
Family time can bring up a range of emotions for children, and it’s important that you’re there to support them through the highs and lows. Learn more about helping children to deal with complex emotions.
Could you foster in the West Midlands?
If you’re new to fostering and are interested in welcoming a child into your home, we would love to hear from you. We operate across the West Midlands and are always looking out for more compassionate, caring people to join us as foster parents. Call us today on 0800 369 8515 or fill in our enquiry form.