Recently celebrating their one year anniversary of welcoming their first foster child, Jayne and Stacey share their fostering experience to date ahead of Mother’s Day.
Married to her partner Stacey for the better half of 12 years, the couple welcomed their first foster child back in February 2021. Marking their first year anniversary, the couple currently foster three siblings aged 7, 9 and 10.
Coming into the fostering process with no children, Jayne also shared the wonderful news that she is currently 5-months pregnant. Jayne commented: “We always knew we wanted to foster and toyed with the adoption route but fostering was always definitely for us.
“We have always been open and honest with our foster children about having biological children because you can’t hide anything from them, especially when they have come from an insecure background. From day one, they always used to ask us ‘why don’t you have any children’ and we told them that we would love to one day.
“As soon as we got to the 3-month mark, we showed them the scan and they were so happy. We even paid for a private scan so they could all come along with us which was amazing. Our eldest foster daughter is just praying that we don’t have another boy!”
With Mother’s Day just around the corner, Jayne reflected on what motherhood meant to her and said: “To me, motherhood is being a female leader and example figure for children to rely on. I think it is being that point in time that doesn’t move. For example, becoming that person they can always rely on while always feeling safe and loved.”
With this year marking their second Mother’s Day as foster parents, Jayne said: “The children love to celebrate every and any milestone, no matter if it is a birthday or an event. When it was their anniversary of being with us for a year, we had everything from balloons to cake.
“Our plans this Sunday will most likely consist of going out to the park, having a chat, and just doing something in the local area where we can just spend time together. We are an active family and would definitely promote getting foster children involved in some sort of sporting activity as this has worked wonders for ours.
“What makes Mother’s Day so special is the children and it is always important to remember them in the process of that.
“We also encourage our children to maintain a relationship with their biological parents. We have got their mum a card and present which they will be able to give to them on their next visit. Stacey and I really believe it is important because they are still the people who gave birth to them and will always be a big part of their lives.
“Going into adulthood, we truly feel that by doing things like this, it will give them a solid foundation so they can look back and not have any regrets about their relationship with their parents.”
In their short time as foster parents, the most rewarding part of fostering is when the smallest achievements are made. Jayne added: “It definitely is when they make the slightest leap forward. We noticed this especially with our eldest foster daughter when she scored her first try in Rugby. Her initial reaction was shock, but soon after she had such a swanky walk back and we could see how confident and proud she was in that moment. Immediately after she scored her first try, she instantly looked around to see our reaction which was a precious moment. It is those little moments that make fostering such a rewarding experience.”
In terms of challenges, Jayne said the one challenge they have faced as a couple is changing the children’s perceptions of what to expect from themselves. Jayne shared: “Before they were in our care, they were often shouted at if they had done something wrong. For some time they couldn’t understand why my partner and I don’t shout, so helping them to just be honest and brave when they have done something wrong took some time. All we have wanted for them to know is that you can learn from your mistakes and it doesn’t have to end in a screaming match.
“There was a moment where they dropped nail varnish and they toyed with telling us, but they were brave enough to be honest and it truly shows how much they have grown in our care.”
For those in the LGBTQ+ community, who are looking to become foster parents, Jayne said: “Go for it. It doesn’t matter what relationship you are in, what race you are, a parent is a parent.
“It is that point in time where you can make a child feel safe and secure so that one day, if they decide to become parents, they too can make their own children feel safe. So be brave and go for it.”
If you’re interested in fostering, then speak to one of our friendly fostering advisors today. Simply complete our online enquiry form.